Mary was in her early forties and still not married.
               She just had a hard time meeting men. And the men she
               did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she
               decided to place an ad in the personals section of the
               newspaper. She wrote: "Looking for a man who won't beat
               me, won't leave me, and is excellent in bed." Several
               days went by and she hadn't gotten a single call. Then,
               one day she was cooking when she heard a knock on the
               door. She walked over to the door to answer it. She opened
               the door and saw a man in a wheelchair with no arms and
               no legs. "Can I help you?" she asked. He said, "I am the
               man of your dreams!" She was baffled. She said, "Excuse
               me." "I read your personal ad in the paper and I am the
               perfect man for you. I have no arms so I can't beat you.
               I have no legs so I can never leave you." "But are you
               good in bed?", she asked.  

               "How do you think I knocked on your door?", he answered.